I’m 24 years old, currently engaged. Unlike me, my fiancé is an introvert. We can’t share our social life because he has a tight circle and I hate it that I can’t introduce him to my friends. He never tries to initiate or join conversations. I hate that he can’t be a part of that aspect of my life that I really want to share. And I’m concerned about the possible problems this might cause for us after marriage. What should I do?
Your message shows that you suffer from the difference of your personalities. The key to reach a common understanding is to seek a balance of your differences.
For this you need to understand these differences: Extraverted persons are more likely to turn towards the external world, they resource from social interactions. On the other hand, introverted persons tend to concentrate on their internal world, social interactions drain their energy and they need calmness to resource. They do not have the same need and desire to interact with others as have extraverted persons. Socially, introverted persons like people but prefer the quality of interactions rather than the quantity. Therefore your fiancé might prefer to have a little circle of friends, to take time to talk to them. It is just a different type of interaction.
So your fiancé may make an effort to meet with your friends, however longer this gathering will last, bigger will be the need for your fiancé to find some calmness to ‘refuel energy’. By learning to live with the differences, accept the behaviors of each other and make compromises while respecting the way the other is will help your relation to work.
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