Couple Counselling – Al Sada Magazine feat. GNC Dubai

Fatima asks

I’m 21-year-old. I recently met a guy whom I shared many common interests with. We had a mutual connection and our relationship grew deeper and we started planning for our future ahead. Before our official engagement he left me because his mother asked him to. She didn’t like me although we only met once. This has caused me to lose confidence in myself and everyone around me. I don’t know how to deal with people around me anymore. How can this get better?

Dear Fatima

This happens more than you could ever know.  This is a typical story that I hear at least once a week.  People tell me but often don’t even tell their friends.  They will report that they changed their minds or site some other reason for things not moving forward.  The truth is this might not even be about you.  His mother might not think he is ready for marriage yet and just blamed it on not liking you.  It is easier to blame a stranger rather than her own son.  We don’t really know what the story is.  Thankfully it happened before you got too far in the process.  Give yourself a little time to emotionally recover then start gently forcing yourself to go out again.  It is natural to feel uncomfortable at first so don’t be shocked by this.  Don’t wait to feel better so you can do better.  Actions always come before emotions.  This means you might have to go out a few times before your emotions shift.  Remember you are still the same person you where before his mother came along!  It is natural to learn more about trust as you go through your 20s.  This will not be the last time your concept of trusting others will be tested.  It is OK struggle with what is too careful and what is too open.  The only real mistake you could make is to stop living.  Go out with friends again and you will see that your confidence will return.